


Lovestruck Idiot (Revision)

by MadokaFan1234



Category: Sing (2016)
Genre: (I already made an Amelie reference), (and maybe a girlfriend), (let me ramble in peace), (yes I'm directly quoting falsettos), Canon, Crushes, Cute, Dedication, Fluff, Jackson is just trying his best, Johnny is just a sweet nice guy, Life is hard, Love, M/M, Meanwhile, OC X CANON, OCs - Freeform, Secret love, about what happens backstage, and everyone is afraid of dying, and get herself a job, and two people trying to manage love life and show business, annette is trying to help, but everyone is trying, but is generally a nice guy, but she doesn't really know much friendship advice, but times are hard for dreamers, everything sucks, his roommate is an eccentric girl, is a rising gorilla star focused on his career, its full of trials and tribulations, life comes, life goes, revision, romcom, sad insomniacs, so they have to take a stand, theres a socially anxious and self-deprecating raccoon, theres homosexuals, they're a tight little band, welcome to singland, while here's a small subplot, while that someone, who he thinks would never love him, who is trying to keep their lives together, who's focused on his job, whos trying to figure out his feelings for someone, women with careers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadokaFan1234/pseuds/MadokaFan1234
Summary: Jackson Riley was not looking for adventure. He was not looking for power, or fame, or money. He was looking to get through life. Finally out of high school and living with his best friend, looking for a job. A perfectly average life. No theatre, no confusion, just...life.Imagine his surprise when he ends up falling in love with the gorilla at his audition.!!! IMPORTANT UPDATE !!!





	1. The Audition

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've decided that I wanted to rewrite one of my stories, Lovestruck Idiot, to just revise some things, tweak the story, and just try to make things a bit better than I had planned. Chapters will be longer than the original, so stay tuned!

"What makes you think we should audition?" Jackson asked, crossing his arms.

"We came to North Calatonia for a reason, dude!" Annette retorted, the paper in her hands crinkling as her hooves excitedly clenched. She shoved the paper in his face. "Think of it--you, me, on the stage of New Moon Theatre, making our dreams come true!" A silly grin resided on the gazelle's face, imagining a possible future for her and her roommate. Jackson just rolled his eyes, before they landed on the program.

*NEW MOON THEATRE*  
OPEN AUDITIONS  
JANUARY 25-30

His eyes widened in shock for a moment, his paws lightly touching the paper, claws lining each word. New Moon Theatre. Open auditions. Jackson immediately shook his head.

"I'm sorry Annette, but that was when we were 12," the raccoon drawled, pushing the bright orange paper away. "We haven't been in a show since we were, what, 15? And besides, this is the New Moon Theatre! Everyone will wanna audition! What's our chances of getting in?" He finished with a huff, hoping Annette would get what he was saying.

But, unfortunately to him, her face just kept holding onto her signature smile. The smile of a determinator. A childish, blissful, dreaming determinator. "So what, we haven't been in a production for 4 years? Who cares--this is the city of stars! Anyone can be famous!" As the ongoing catchphrase of the gazelle was spoken, Jackson just glared at her.

He thought over her words for only a moment. That's all he needed. Just one moment to let the sentence settle in, before he spoke again.

"I'm not doing it," He stated, stamping his foot a bit in arrogance. "And that's final."

Annette's smile had softened a bit as his words settled in, but it stayed on regardless. "You'll do it for me, won't you?" She asked.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" He asked, shrugging.

A proud smirk arose on the gazelle's lips. "I'm auditioning for New Moon Theatre--" Annette declared, putting her fists on her hips proudly. "--and you're gonna be my assistant!"

Jackson's eyes widened a bit. He raised a finger, about to argue, but he put it down slowly as he realized that she wanted this. She would always want stuff like this. At least he would only be onstage for a moment. Jackson nodded. "Fine." He agreed, bluntly. "I'll help you..."

Right after he said those words, the gazelle's grim grew wide as she squealed, running to her room to plan an act. Jackson stepped back in somewhat surprise, but it faded as he remembered that this was normal for her. Normal for her to be excited about low chances.

"...but don't be surprised if we don't get called back!" He yelled back. He was only met by a slamming door. With a huff, Jackson shook his head as he settled back on the couch, plucking his earbuds back in.

'We're not gonna pay...we're not gonna pay....' He hummed to himself, looking over what he knew about the New Moon Theatre.

Huge showplace? Check.  
Hundreds of auditions? Sure as all hell.  
Amazing performances? Definitely.

At the thought of the performances, Jackson took out his phone, searching for the first performances of the theatre. He clicked on one of the videos, posted about a year ago, trying to remember what the first show had brought to the theatre.

Watching the video, a small smile rose on his face as he remembered it the same as how he watched it on TV months ago. The same lights, the same action, the same whimsy what blended through each of the performers as they sang. He tapped his paw to the beat, mouthing lyrics, trying to perform with the same animals he admired.

He thought it was great. More than great--fantastic. A true art resided in that building.

But at the same time, as the final curtain closed, he grimaced, thinking it was terrible. Not the theatre, of course, but the fact that he would be on that stage in only a few weeks. Him--a rundown, shabby raccoon that hasn't performed since high school.

What theatre would want him?

\---

"C'mon!" Annette tugged on his blue sleeve, dragging him closer and closer to the theatre. The few weeks had flown by in a flash. Their act was assembled, many nights spent practicing non-stop. Lines were memorized, choreography was mastered. Annette had shoved him off his bed at 6 AM, in an energetic frenzy. Her smile was wide, contrasting Jackson's scowl as he thought about his inevitable fate. There they were, making there way to New Moon Theatre, about to audition.

Now just to see it all crash and burn.

Jackson sighed tiredly as he struggled to stay awake as Annette pulled him to the building. "How are you this energetic?" He yawned.

She shrugged. "Optimism, I guess."

Rolling his eyes, he watched as Annette skipped closer and closer to the building, soon skipping up the stairs of the entrance. With her free hoof, she grabbed the the handle of the door quickly, motioning to Jackson to enter.

He looked up at the theatre, granting him a split-second look of the grand architecture. The colossal scale of the structure, its snowy walls seeming almost ghost-like, reminiscent of an old heirloom. The decoration displaying the theater's name in all its glory pierced his sights. He gulped a bit, eyebrows furrowing.

"Tell me one more time--why do you want to audition?" Jackson drawled, words quavering with a bit of anxiousness. "I mean, so many people are gonna audition. What makes you think we have a chance? Not that we aren't good, I mean--" He was stalling. He didn't think much of it at first, but something inside of him--his mind, heart, and body--was telling him not to enter. He almost had broke into a sweat, even though it was just late January.

His roommate's smile faltered a bit at his tone, eyeing him with concern. But after only a few seconds, her cheerful grin perked up once again. "I'll tell you that after we audition, buddy! Now, let's go inside!" She said, words piercing together in a harmonic tone.

But he didn't move. Jackson wanted to stop right then and there. Something inside of him just wanted to run back to his home. He knew what this was. He didn't let himself show it, but he was nervous. He was scared of messing up in front of a huge theatre. He hasn't felt this way since he was 12--why was this happening?

"Hey," Annette whispered, tone shifting into care. "You okay?" Jackson snapped out of his visibly disrupted state at the sound of her voice, not even realizing that he had been breathing hard. He managed his breaths, but did not speak. "You know...we don't have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable...I mean," She sighed. Now this got Jackson's attention. He looked around the box to fully face Annette, grin completely gone from her face.

Jackson thought over what she just said. Annette had tried to seem like she cared, but disappointment obviously hinged onto her words. She looked away from the raccoon, trying to hide her crestfallen expression. Taking a further glance at her face, Jackson recognized an emotion in her eyes.

Anticipation.

"I wouldn't want to upset you.." She wanted this. "...and you're right--we don't have to audition..." She really wanted this. "I mean, I love doing this, but if you don't want to.."

Jackson looked at her barren expression, grimacing a bit about what he was going to do. "Fine," he simply stated.

Annette turned her head. "What?"

He nodded his head at his roommate. "I'll do it. Let's go in, already," Haste lined his words as he walked up the stairs. "I just want to get this over with."

And then in an instant, the gazelle's smile revived slightly. "Are you sure?" She asked.

He nodded again, faking a smile. "I'll be happy to help you, I promise," his words felt counterfeit, but considering Annette's frantic pull at the door, it seemed like she bought it.

A small sigh of dread escaped the raccoon's lips as he entered the building. But as he took in the detail of the theater, his smile soon grew once more.

"Woah..." He managed to mutter as he gazed around the grand palace. The scarlet painted walls that climbed the structure, beautiful golden-glitter decorations that lined the walls, shimmering in beauty. The chandelier planted in the middle of the top was like the topper of a wedding cake. For a moment, his smile was genuine as he stood like a child in pure wonder.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Annette's words rushed into his ears, snapping him back to reality. Jackson turned to see Annette skipping into the auditorium. "C'mon, let's go!" She said, motioning with her hoof for Jackson to follow her.

Jackson stared at the gazelle for a moment, taking note of the small bounce in her hooves as her smile grew wider, gleaming with happiness. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and calmly followed her.

He watched as she beamed upon seeing him follow, going backstage to set up the act. Jackson tried to match her smile, but as she skipped out of his sights, he lay his smile to rest as he shakily made his way backstage. His paws gripped the top of the leather chairs lined at the top of the audience, before making their way onto the handrail of the stairs that would lead to the heart of the theater--the stage itself.

Struggling a breath, he took a single step onto the stairs, slowly making his way to the platform. He looked into the pathway that connected his world to the theater's, letting his body walk along the trail, taking a quick glance to the back doors, contemplating an escape for a split-second. One thought grazed his mind as he shook the plan away and began to follow his roommate to his doom.

What was he doing?

\---

"You stay here and warm up--I'll fill out our papers!" Annette commanded, brushing her hand off at her roommate before running to the other side of the room.

Jackson leaned against the wall, trying to stay as far away as the stage as possible right now. He nodded.

"You got it," he responded indifferently as he watched her rush to the pile of papers across the room. "Don't have to tell me twice," he whispered under his breath.

He stuffed his paws in his pockets as he tiredly looked around backstage. It was packed with several other animals, either mingling or practicing. Many sounds had filled the air. The plucking of guitar strings in a tuneup check, the thrilled singing of solos, duets, or quartets, and just the simple conversations and speculations about who would get in.

Jackson frowned a bit at the noise. He fumbled with his paws in his sweatshirt pocket, mentally scolding himself for not bringing his iPod. He grumbled a bit in annoyance, looking to the ground. He just wanted it to be over already.

"So," an unfamiliar voice addressed Jackson. "You auditioning?"

Of course someone would try to stir up small talk. Jackson didn't even bother to look up. He didn't care about conversation right now. He just sighed, slightly nodding his head.

Silence plagued the air. Still looking down, Jackson heard the stranger sigh. Not in sadness, though. Something else.

"You okay?" They asked.

Jackson took a moment to think, then shrugged. "Eh. Why do you ask?"

"You don't seem that excited."

Jackson sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know. She dragged me here," He looked up and pointed to Annette across the room. She was smiling as always, talking to a leopard happily. "Well, not drag, per se. She means well." He assured quickly, chuckling a bit. For a second, he could've sworn the other had laughed as well.

"Have you ever been in a show before?" They asked.

He didn't even care if he was talking to a stranger anymore, Jackson responded. "I haven't been in one since I was 15...it's not like I'll get in anyway, I'm not that good of a singer..." he muttered.

"Oh, I'm sure you're a great singer!"

Jackson's eyes widened a bit at the sudden compliment. "Oh, wow, well..it's just that she's so cool all the time," He pointed at Annette once again, who was smiling and laughing as she conversed with the other auditions. "And I haven't sung since, like, forever..." he dragged on, before stopping himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble-"

"It's fine, really," they replied. "I'm fine talking with you."

Jackson took in the sentence for a moment, before smiling a bit. This time, it was his turn to ask a question. "What's your name?"

"Johnny."

Wait...Johnny? That name sounded familiar. Turning his head to face the stranger, Jackson saw...him.

"Woah," Jackson just said. His eyes lit up in awe. "You're Johnny!" From the show!" His mouth grew into a starstruck smile.

Johnny looked at the raccoon and chuckled a bit, amused by his sudden enthusiasm. "Yeah, that's me..."

Jackson began bouncing with joy, his paws brushing through the top of his fur. "Dude, I LOVED your performance! Like, the lighting, the staging--YOUR VOICE!" He gasped in praise. "Your voice was AMAZING! And you did it while playing piano, like what-!" His sentence stopped at a halt when he what he was just saying. "O-Oh...sorry," he cleared his throat, bringing his arms behind his back, trying to retain professionalism. "I-I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry if I'm annoying you, I'm just a bit nervous about my audition," his eyes peered at the floor, awkwardly.

"No, it's okay!" Johnny's voice caused Jackson to look back up. "I like talking to people, especially with people as passionate as you," he smiled. Jackson returned his smile slowly...wait, did he just compliment him?

Silence filled the space between the two. Jackson felt the clatter of the other animals fill the room fully. Johnny was still there, for some reason. A thousand thoughts rushed through Jackson's head. Did he want to talk some more? Should he step away? What should he do?

"S-So," The thought was uttered before Jackson even thought to spoke. Johnny looked up, attention caught. "Why...are you backstage? Shouldn't you be practicing...or something?" Jackson just kept on going. He hoped he didn't come off as rude or anything.

He saw Johnny simply smile. "I'm an accompanist. I help others with their performances," he said.

Jackson smiled almost immediately. "That's cool! You're an amazing pianist, I bet you'll be amazing! Well, you are amazing, but I bet a lot of people will just love to have you help...and, uh...yeah...." Jackson stammered, before simmering softly as he realized he was rambling.

The raccoon's eyes wandered around backstage. Was there a clock? What time was it, when was he going to go on?

"So," Johnny began this time. "What about you?"

Jackson looked at Johnny with question. "Hmm?"

"Are you going to sing, or...?"

The raccoon's eyes widened. "Oh! Well, yeah, I'm auditioning with my roommate, and we're gonna sing! It's this song from this show called RENT, -it's an amazing show- but...but we're technically actors," He rubbed his striped arm with his paw. "We've been acting since we were twelve, though we haven't been in a show since we were fifteen, and so I just know I'm gonna mess something up, because I'm just awful-" he went on. "I...I'm rambling again, aren't I? Sorry, sorr-"

"It's okay, it's okay!" Johnny responded. Jackson sighed a bit in embarrassment, it felt just like before. "Why are you so hard on yourself, I'm sure you're pretty good!"

A small chuckle escaped Jackson's mouth. "Heh, and what makes you say that?"

"Well...you're at Moon Theater, aren't you?"

"Well, Annette is the one auditioning, I'm just her backup..." Jackson replied.

"You've been acting since you were a kid..."

"...and I stopped when I was fifteen. Nine years ago," Jackson sighed, backing into the wall. He crossed his arms against his chest, still anticipating the big audition.

"....you're trying your best?"

Jackson chuckled again. "My 'best' isn't good enough. I'm never good enough. Like, you're Johnny, the guy who learned how to play piano and sing an entire song in a month in front of dozens of animals. I'm a kid who hasn't done a single thing since he was 15 and is terrified of humiliating myself in front of professionals....sorry, I'm being rude," Jackson said, shaking his head. This wasn't going that well at all. He was talking to an actual star, and what was he doing? Pitying himself.

"Don't, don't...it's okay," Johnny replied. A few quiet minutes passed before Johnny looked at Jackson. "You...you can be afraid. It's fine."

Jackson shrugged, saying nothing.

"But...you're going to be fine. I know it. You'll get through this no matter what. It's just an audition," he said.

"It..It's just an audition," Jackson repeated under his breath. For some reason, he felt the words comforting.

Johnny nodded. "And...don't let fear stop you from doing what you love."

Jackson breathed. "Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love," it almost ended with a smile.

"There you go! You'll get through it, won't you?"

This time, Jackson nodded, looking at Johnny. He met his lovely smile. There was a nice tone of peace between them.

"Attention- auditions are about to begin!" A sudden booming voice brought Jackson back to reality. Suddenly, the bustling noises of the other auditioning animals could be heard again. "All judges and accompanists to the front!" Auditions were starting? Already?

Jackson turned to Johnny, who looked at him. "Well, I guess I gotta go," he said, walking off. "Can't wait to see your act. I'm sure you'll do great!" He waved off as he disappeared to the front.

"B-Bye..." Jackson waved back slowly. A smile slowly raised on his face. The second genuine one of the day. He watched the exit longingly, just standing there in place.

"Hey," Annette slapped a hoof on his back, prompting him to turn around quickly. "See you're making friends, huh?" She teased, looking at the exit.

"We were..we were just...talking," Jackson said, his voice barely above the whisper. "So...when are we going on?" He tried to change the topic.

Annette smiled, causing a bit of fear to surge through Jackson. It was a smile of a plan, certainty in her eyes. His smile faltered a bit as her hoof slowly lowered into his paw.

She looked him straight in the eye. "Right now," she perked, bringing him close to the door. Jackson's eyes widened a bit, but all his emotions were concealed under a fake smile.

"Grreaaat...." He drawled in a forced happy tone, not fighting his roommate as she dragged him to the door. Jackson's mind ran through the past conversation quickly, looking over the words he was given. For a moment, he was hopeful about this audition.

Hopefully he wouldn't mess it up.

\----

The two walked onto the stage. Jackson watched as Annette handed the music to the accompanists. And there was Johnny, like he said, taking the music sheets. Jackson stared at him for a few seconds, remembering their conversation backstage. A stem of nervousness suddenly ran down his back, giving him more pressure to not mess things up. 

His stare was broken once he saw the gazelle turn around. Jackson swerved his vision out into the long array of leather chairs that lined the theater. Annette returned with a skip in her step, distancing herself from Jackson, giving room for their act. She looked at Buster and the rest of the judges with glee, though Jackson didn't meet her enthusiasm. He just focused his attention on the judges as he attempted to not break into a sweat.

"Hello, Mr. Moon!" Annette introduced, before Buster could even speak. "I am Annette Groves, and this is my partner," she motioned over to Jackson, "Jackson Riley!"

The raccoon's eyes widened a bit upon having the spotlight placed on him, but he just awkwardly smiled and waved his paw. "H-Hi.."

"Nice introduction," Buster whispered, matching her glee. He scribbled some things down on his paper, before looking up at the duo with a wide smile. "Now, what will you be singing?"

"WhatYouOwnfromRENT," a large cluster emerged from Jackson's mouth.

Buster and Annette looked at him with question. Jackson let the awkwardness take in for a moment, thoughts flooding into his brain. Great, he was already messing shit up!

"I m-mean..." Jackson began, recollecting himself. "We will be singing What You Own from RENT..." he concluded with a bit of hesitation. He looked at Annette, who had an encouraging smile on her face. Just get through this..just get through this.

Bringing himself back together, he looked at Annette, who looked at the accompanists, who began the music. She began singing.

"Don't breathe too deep...don't think all day...  
Dive into work...drive the other way..."

Jackson could hardly listen to her. He was anticipating his cue over and over again. He stared at Annette, watching her sing, trying to wait for his cue. He was nervous as all hell. He shouldn't be worried, he knew that. He just needed to breathe...he just needed to calm down....it would all be done soon...

He let himself get invested in the music. It was absolutely thrilling. Jackson loved the kicking rush of the guitar that started things off, as well as the background piano that beautifully complimented the strings. It sounded amazingly professional. These were pretty much professionals, he thought. It was just like being on an actual stage...like the ones he saw as a kid.

He became so invested he almost missed his cue. Once Annette finished her verse, Jackson quickly chimed in.

"The filmmaker cannot see!"

"And the songwriter cannot hear!"

A smile arose on Jackson's voice as he sang. He loved this song, everything about it. From the instrumental, to the quick emotion of the song, to the rapidly changing tone of the song in the verses to the bridge.

"...you're living in America!  
At the end of the millennium!  
You're living in America, where it's like the Twilight Zone!"

Jackson let the emotion captivate him. Passion filled his words as he sang. He let everything before the audition fade away as he sang--it was amazing to be singing on a professional stage, with the lights shining on his face and the serge of energy blasting through his soul as he belted out the final notes...

He was snapped back to reality once his verse ended. He listened as Annette began the lyrics once again.

"What was it about that night?"

The words slipped out of his lips right after hers, as the song intended. He brought a paw to his forehead. Oh shit, what was he doing? He lost complete sense of what he was doing. What if he missed a note? What if he sang out for too long? Was it too much?

He shook his head in an attempt to relieve the thoughts. Why did he care? It would be over soon...

He took a quick look at Johnny. Jackson had another thought flood his mind: did he like it?

It was replaced with the same thought. Why did he care? It would be over soon.

The song continued as the two rehearsed it. Annette closed the song with a smile towards Jackson, who awkwardly tried to counter it, but couldn't keep his eyes off of Johnny. 

"Thank you!" The two performers snapped their attention to Buster's chiming voice. "That will be all," the koala concluded whatever he was writing down and placed his pen and clipboard on the table. He rested his paws into a clasp, smiling still shining on his face.

Jackson and Annette both nodded, before turning to exit. As they headed backstage, Annette placed a hoof on his back. 

"Why are you so nervous? You were great!" She said, her voice hushed. 

The raccoon was about to reply before they passed the accompanists. For a moment, Jackson took a look at Johnny from the piano. 

The gorilla was giving him a small thumbs-up with a smile. 

Jackson took in the act with a bit of shock. He...liked it? The raccoon responded with a quick and clumsy thumbs-up back, before feeling Annette tap his shoulder again. 

He swerved his head to look at her. She had a slight grin on her face. "You're just standing there...didn't you want to get out as fast as you could?" She teased, hoof on her hip. 

His eyes widened a bit, snapping out of his state. He was just standing there, looking at Johnny? Jackson just looked at Annette and walked to the exit. 

"You smile too much," He whispered to her, before going out of the theater at last. He didn't think for a second that he would get in.


	2. Callback

Two weeks went by since the audition. Both Jackson and Annette were anticipating every day at the phone, waiting for a callback.

Jackson calmed down over the week. He was convinced he wouldn't be accepted, but was anticipating Annette's call everyday. He was waiting for either a disappointed frown or an excited smile. Either way, the pressure was killing both of them, and he just wanted it to be over.

"You think they're gonna call us today?" Annette asked him, not turning her attention away from the phone on the drawer.

He shrugged, not looking up from his phone. "I hope they call you soon," he stated, adding some rather emphasis onto the 'you'. "You've been staring at that phone for five minutes."

She turned around. "What, don't you want to be in the show?" She asked, in response to his first sentence.

"Why would I?" he replied without a second thought.

"Oh come on!" She smirked. "You got so excited when we entered! And you were amazing onstage!"

He peered his eyes at the gazelle for a second, before slightly shrugging again. "S-So? You were the one auditioning, I was just backup," He said calmly.

He watched as Annette rolled her eyes and turned to look at the phone once again. Jackson just looked back on his phone, clearing all his thoughts about the audition and the callback. He didn't want anything to do with it right now.

It wasn't until dinner that night when it finally rang.

Jackson was just stirring the pasta in the kitchen when it happened. The blaring ring from Annette's cell echoed throughout the room, shocking him for a small second.

"Ah!" Annette was working across the room when it rang. She quickly squealed, hastily shutting her laptop and leaped across the room to look at the number.

Jackson stopped stirring and looked over his shoulder for a moment, seeing the gazelle make her way into the bathroom to take the call. He resumed stirring for a few more minutes, before placing the spaghetti on the counter and sneaking over to the bathroom.

Jackson pressed his ear to the door as Annette talked over the phone. From the door, he could hear a few muffled 'yeahs' and 'uh-huhs', a smile slowly forming on his face. A happy thought resided in his mind. She got in!

With a click of the phone signaling the end of the call, Jackson rushed to the kitchen to grab the spaghetti as Annette emerged from her room. A grin was wide on her face, bleeding with optimism and joy.

"Guess what~?" She said in a sing-song voice.

Jackson saw the glimmer in her eyes. He tried not to chuckle or give away the fact he was listening. He smiled back. "You got in?" He asked.

To his surprise, the gazelle shook her head. But her smile remained. In an instant, Jackson's expression faltered into a frown of confusion. What? Why was she shaking her head? She got in, she must've!

"I didn't get in..." she began, voice sparkling with energy still. Jackson was completely full of anticipation and terror at this point."...but YOU did!"

 

Jackson sputtered for a moment. "Wh-What-Why-How?!" He said, trying to contain his emotions. "You were the one auditioning!"

"I know," Annette nodded. "But I put both of our names on the paper! Now you're gonna be apart of Moon Theater!" Annette squealed in excitement as she finished her thought. She ran over to hug Jackson, eyes wide in terrified silence.

"Haha...great..." he drawled, patting her on the back. He struggled to manage a laugh, but it came out as a waver. This was terrible, absolutely terrible!

The thought he had when he auditioned was not that being rejected would be awful. No, it was way worse than that.

He could be accepted.

\---

The day had come by in a flash. Jackson was staring out the car window groggily as he dreaded what was to come.

Annette had to drag him out of bed early in the morning. Since the call, Jackson had been quiet about his feelings, and everyday, she kept on pushing him.

"C'mon!" She gave him an optimistic look as she drove down the street to the theater. "You're gonna have a great day, I just know it! You'll do great!" She glimmered. Jackson didn't respond and just kept on looking out the window. She sighed, her patience slightly tugging away from her. "You had so much fun at the audition! Why's now any different?" She asked.

Finally, Jackson turned to face her with a sigh. "Why are you pushing me to go anyways?" He questioned quickly. "I say I don't want to do it, and yet you always force me to go. I never get in anyways, so why do you even bother bringing me?"

She looked at him for a second, completely calm, before taking time to think. "You like singing," she shrugged. "And you'll never sing on your own."

Jackson narrowed his eyes, looking out the window again. "You're the performer in the relationship," he said. "And you could probably get a few gigs if you let me go..." He whispered.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why? You're a fun partner."

He shrugged. "This is your dream. Not mine." He tried to sink back into thought, but Annette had a quick mouth. 

"You were passionate before."

"That's the key word: before," he remarked. "I'm done with acting, done with singing, done with all of it. I just want to move on in life, okay?" 

She didn't even look him in the eye as they began to slow down in the road. Nevertheless, her smile remained. Jackson looked back out the window, gulping as the large building soon neared into view. 

Time to face the music. 

The car stopped in front of the theater and Jackson opened the door, walking to the entrance. He maintained a calm face as the entrance grew nearer and nearer towards him. His quavering paw went up to grab the door handle. Quickly, he looked over his shoulder at Annette in her car. 

"Have a good time, Jack!" She smiled with bliss, waving goodbye as she began to drove off. 

Jackson leered for a bit at the disappearing vehicle, wishing he was in it, driving back to their apartment. He sighed and shook his head, turning back to the door. He opened it quickly, exhaling as he entered the beautiful theater once more. 

\---

The theater was just like last time, magnificent and grand. It had a beautiful inviting atmosphere inside it that enticed everyone to join. Jackson, however, was not feeling it today. Instead of his heart beating with amazement as he walked against the walls, his stomach had a burning sensation that filled him with fear, making him just want to flee the theater entirely at that point. 

He breathed in, taking in his surroundings. It was just the lobby, and he was okay. He could do this. He slowly began to walk to the auditorium. How bad could it be? 

When he opened the door, he was met with a bunch of different animals practicing, just like the audition. Tuning their instruments, warming up their voices, going over dance moves, each with passion and flair. It was quieter than the audition, he noticed, with the backstage area being louder than before. But still, he was nervous. 

He looked around the auditorium, shaking a bit with anxiousness, but pulling himself together as he began to walk around the theater. "It's okay," he whispered to himself repeatedly as he walked. 

He tried to tune out all the noises as he walked. He didn't know where he was walking, it was just a habit. He walked around the theater, backgrounds beginning to spiral in his head as he investigated deeper into its core. It was still magnificent, breath-taking. He just didn't know what to make of it, as he realized that he'll be working there for two months.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" He huffed under his breath, continuing his walk. His mind had begun to stray away from the scenery and into his own thoughts. His thoughts about the grand theater, his workplace. Predictions about the rehearsals there, the growing feeling of performance escalating. 

Could he do this? Did he want to do this? What is the chance of him messing up greatly? What was he going to do?

His thoughts shattered once he bumped into someone backstage. 

"Shit, I'm so sorry!" Jackson jumped back, apologizing rapidly through breaths as he collected himself. "You okay? I am so sorry, I wasn't paying attention! It won't happen again," as he apologized, he took a closer look at the someone he bumped into. They looked...awfully familiar. 

"Ey, it's okay," the someone's voice confirmed who he was. Johnny looked at Jackson with a smile, obviously unaffected by the bump. "Good to see you here!" 

Jackson's thoughts began to rebuild. The gorilla he met at the audition! Did he remember him? "Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry about that," he began, arms crossed behind his back. "I've just been...not really myself today," he scrambled for words, not knowing how to explain himself. More thoughts grew as he rambled. He was probably just wasting Johnny's time. Quit rambling and just leave. 

"Oh no, it's okay!" Johnny responded. "Callbacks are a bit scary. I can see why you're a bit distressed," he said. 

Jackson nodded softly, crossing his arms. "Well, it's just that I haven't been onstage for years, and I don't even know how well the audition was. I've been practicing my piece every day, but not really every day since most days it's in my head as I cook or read or do anything besides work here, because I know I'm just gonna screw up and--" he stopped mid-sentence and looked up at Johnny, his expression turned into a slightly concerned one. Jackson didn't know how to continue his sentence. Silence pierced the air between the them for a bit. 

"You...okay?" Johnny asked after a few moments, 

Jackson just nodded. "Y-Yeah...I'm sorry for ranting. I should be practicing right now, I know everyone is," the raccoon turned to leave, thinking he just wasted his time ranting about his personal troubles. It didn't matter anyways right now. 

"No, it's fine," Johnny replied almost immediately. His voice seemed to have extended to the walking Jackson, almost like he was reaching o to him. "We all just need to get some stuff of our chests once in a while. Nothing wrong with that." 

Jackson stopped walking for a moment. He looked over his shoulder and saw Johnny, still standing near him. Jackson peeked a smile at him. "Guess I'll se you later. Thanks...for listening," he said. He looked to walk down, before looking at Johnny again. "My name's Jackson, by the way." 

"You're welcome, Jackson," Johnny replied with a matching smile. "I bet you'll do great." 

Jackson nodded before walking off backstage. 

What a nice guy. Someone who actually listened to him. He held onto his words for some time, simply breathing in and out while tuning the rest of the world out. 

"Callbacks!" A strong voice echoed from backstage, Mr. Moon himself walking onstage with a clipboard, pen tapped to his temple. "To the stage!" 

Jackson took a moment to watch as everyone proceeded to flock to the theater. He shrugged, beginning to walk to the rest of the callbacks to his boss. His troubled thoughts had disappeared now, replaced with Johnny's words. 

Maybe this won't be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got around to finishing this chapter!


	3. The Third Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny helps Jackson with his performance piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up yall

Jackson stepped out of the car, waving lazily to Annette as she drove off. He looked up at the theater, its form beginning to become ordinary in his routine. Placing a paw on the glass door, he looked into the theater and sighed.

Time for another day.

Pushing himself into the theater, his eyes widened with slight surprise. The theater seemed quieter than normal, which was saying something. Upon entering the auditorium, Jackson noticed the callbacks huddled at the front of the stage, Buster himself standing at the edge, tapping his pencil against his board. He walked over, prepared for another day.

"...And I would like to see Jackson Riley first," Buster's voice picked up as Jackson walked closer.

Wait, what?

"Ah, there you are!" The koala looked up to see the wide-eyed raccoon at the front of the stage. "I'd like work with your piece today, give a bit of feedback if you don't mind..."

"Um-but-Mr. Moon..." Jackson began to stutter. But he after that, he just sighed and nodded. He didn't know what to say.

Guess that's how he'll spend his third day.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"NOT THROWIN' AWAY MY SHOT!"

Jackson let his body stay for a few seconds, chest raising up and low as he retrieved his breath from the number. His hands were spread away from his body in a grand manner, his head raised above. He peeked open his eyes a bit, trying to see if Mr. Moon liked his act.

Neutrality stemmed from the koala's face as he tapped his pencil to his clipboard. Jackson tried not to let his heart lower, but he knew what the koala was thinking. It still wasn't enough.

"Jackson, I know you're doing your best..." Buster's words weren't too tense, nor was his tone. But Jackson felt his disappointment.

"I really am..." Jackson whispered to himself, almost sounding like a sneer.

"...but it still feels like something's...missing from it, that's all! Some...some...." he tapped his pencil on his board a few more times, trying to collect the word upon his tongue. "Some...flair!" A smile splattered on his face upon finding the word. He cocked his head up at Jackson to meet his eyes, hoping he heard him.

Comparatively, Jackson rose his eyebrow at the sudden word. Flair? What exactly did that mean? "R-Right, Mr. Moon!" Nevertheless, he stuttered out a response, pretending he understood. "I got it! Flair!" He faked a smile to match the koala's. "I'll be practicing that one very soon! I promise! Thanks for the critique!"

Buster smiled. "Anytime, Jackson!" He got out of his chair, swerving on his heels to face the doors. "I hope to see your performance turn out for the better! Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna take a look at Audrey's act."

Jackson kept his smile on his face as he watched Buster exit the auditorium. And then, he was alone, onstage.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Jackson let himself take a breath as he lowered his arms along with his smile. So this was how the third day was gonna begin. He looked down at the floor of the stage, about to walk down to a practice room. That word fluttered around his mind for a bit...flair.

Flair. What exactly was flair? Optimism? Excitement? Joy? Passion? He had no idea. He shifted his paws into his pockets, about to walk back down to practice for the rest of the day.

And yet...he didn't. He stopped in the middle of the stage, eyes shut. He couldn't move for some reason. He could move, of course, but there was something in the core of his body that wouldn't let him exit the stage. Slowly, the raccoon lifted his head to look at the large array of leather chairs that plastered the floor. The same amount of people that would be seeing him perform in a few weeks.

He hasn't been through this for years. Being onstage, eyes drawn on him, as his voice swept up the attention of the audience. What would it be like?

A sigh escaped his lips as he began to sing.

"I've learned to slam on the brake...  
Before I even turn the key...  
Before I make the mistake...  
Before I lead with the worst of me..."

\---

Johnny was sitting at his piano, downstage with his friends. Ash strummed a guitar, writing down a few notes in her journal, and Meena read the sheet music to her song. The beginning of a normal day.

"So," he began, playing a few notes on the piano. "How's it going for you two?" He wasn't exactly the best conversationalist, but he tried.

Ash responded with a quick thumbs up before going back to her music. Meena looked up at him with a smile and responded with a "oh, it's going fine!" before looking back at her paper.

Johnny looked at the two continue their work, before staring down at his own piano. More quiet between them all. Great.

'Give them no reason to stare...no slipping up if you slip away...'

Johnny's thoughts were suddenly drowned out by...something upstage. Someone was singing?

'...so I got nothing to share...no, I got nothing to say...'

Their voice was pretty good. Most likely a callback, he thought.

"Yo, are you okay?" Ash's voice suddenly asked. Johnny snapped out of thought, looking over to the porcupine. "You look...kinda dazed over there."

"Oh, uh, yeah..." Johnny looked at her, then at the staircase leading upstage. "I just gotta...check upstage."

He got up from his seat and began to walk upstairs, waving behind him to his friends. Meena and Ash looked at where Johnny was going, then at each other and shrugged.

\---

"Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned..." Jackson was sucked into the lyrics by now. "Step out, step out of the sun, because of you've learned, because you've learned...." He looked out from the stage.

Being onstage, to him, felt...odd. It was exactly like real life, just this odd exhilaration added on. The feeling of the lights shining on you, all eyes watching your every movement, the direction of the show depending on your very actions.

Ugh, just the thought of it created a pit in his stomach. And now that would be happening in about a month! Singing by himself to himself gave of this same sensation, except he felt both more confident and humiliated.

"On the outside, always looking in, will I  
Ever be more than I've always been?  
Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass...  
I'm waving through a window...."

He walked forwards onstage, planting his feet firm into the ground. His voice raised and lowered how he wanted it to. He hit the notes he wanted to hit. But we're the hits he needed to hit, he thought? It was always such an odd line between want and need.

"I try to speak, but nobody can hear, so I  
Wait around for an answer to appear  
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass  
I'm waving through a window...  
Can anybody see?  
Is anybody waving....  
Back at me?"

He stepped back from the ledge, voice quieting as he intended to leave the stage. He sighed, looking around the stage again.

"You're not supposed to be here, are ya'?"

Jackson jumped back in shock at the sudden voice from backstage. Oh shit, he was caught. His heartbeat was racing suddenly, his mind trying to find a way to explain. "Okay, look, I can explain--"

"Don't worry," the voice immediately responded. "You have a nice voice." The figure belonging to the voice stepped out from backstage. And there was Johnny, hands in his jeans' pockets, staring at him.

Jackson mentally scolded himself. Great, he got caught by the one person he'd consider a friend! "Look, I'll get out right now..."

"You just need to work on your projection."

Jackson's eyebrow raised. "W-What?"

Johnny's signature smile appeared on his face as he walked over to the raccoon. "You have to breathe in and sing out," he pointed to the back of the theater. "You have to think of all the people that wanna hear you from the back," he explained, looking at Jackson. "Now, continue."

Jackson looked at the back of the stage, then at Johnny, then at the back of the stage, then at stopping Johnny once again. The gorilla nodded at the nervous raccoon, smiling in support. In his mind, Jackson had a whole string of nervous 'what's' going through his head. Hesitance was always one of his main qualities. But looking at Johnny, Jackson relaxed his arms by his side, looked out in the audience, took a deep breath, and continued singing out, just like he instructed.

"We start with stars in our eyes...  
We start believing that we belong...  
But every sun doesn't rise...  
And no one tells you where you went wrong!"

\---

"Waving, waving.....  
Oh, oh......."

Jackson had continued throughout the song, singing out. And somehow, he ended with a smile. He looked over to Johnny, who was smiling as well. The gorilla flashed a thumbs-up at him, which made his smile increase.

"That was great!" Johnny replied. "Just keep on practicing."

"Yes, yes, very good," Buster's voice suddenly appeared with an opening of the door. Jackson and Johnny looked at him, both surprised. "I could hear you from out there. Jackson...that is exactly what I want with your final performance!" The koala glimmered, looking up at them. "Try to continue on just like that!"

Jackson's smile returned and he began to nod rapidly. "S-Sure thing, Mr. Moon!" He replied.

Buster nodded, smiling. "And if you don't mind.,,could you possibly rehearse somewhere other than the stage? We kinda need it for other rehearsals," he stated.

Jackson and Johnny looked down at the stage, then at each other. They had forgotten that they were onstage together. They both nodded at Mr. Moon, before going offstage right together.

Jackson smiled at Johnny, walking next to him. He stared at Johnny with intrigue. Johnny was just...amazing somehow. Everything just felt better when he was around him. How he does it, Jackson didn't know. Maybe it was just luck, or fate, or destiny. Or some magic mumbo-jumbo Annette keeps on rambling on about.

A sudden question popped up in Jackson's head, stopping him in his tracks. He immediately threw it away at first, before watching Johnny continue to walk. If he didn't ask him, it could be possible he'd be walking out of his life for good. Or, they could remain friends, and he shouldn't worry about it.

But Johnny was cool. Undeniably cool. Jackson wanted to just hang out with him for a few more minutes, just a few. Was he blowing this out of proportion? Should he just ask the question?

"Jackson?" His voice snapped Jackson out of thought. Johnny sensed Jackson's sudden stop and turned around. "You okay?" He asked.

Jackson realized something, something small. Johnny cared. It was small, he sensed it and cared. Jackson...liked it. He stared at him for a few seconds, remembering their time onstage, before opening his mouth.

"Hey, um, th-thanks again for that piece of advice," he began. Johnny nodded. "I just...wanted to know....would you-would you be up for hanging out sometime this week? Maybe after rehearsal?" He struggled a nervous smile. Hey, the worst thing he could say was no, right?

There was a small span of silence between them, each remaining second causing Jackson a quake of nervousness. Then, Johnny smiled warmly at him. "Sure."

A mixture of surprise, excitement, and joy slowly rose to Jackson's core. He gasped a bit. "R-Really?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. I'm free tomorrow, if you like."

Jackson nodded excitedly. "Of course!" He exclaimed. He calmed down immediately, smoothing himself out. "Oh, I mean, that would be great," he twirled his hair a bit as he reconstructed his sentence. "See you soon!" He said, waving.

Johnny walked off, waving back.

When he was out of view, Jackson pumped a fist in the air. Hell yeah, he was hanging out with Johnny! The sweet, amazing, fantasic Johnny! 

But soon, his joy depleted a bit. He was going to be hanging out with the sweet, amazing, fantastic Johnny...

No. No, no, no! Jackson exhaled, walking backstage to continue practicing and fear for what may come tomorrow. 

He prayed to God that he didn't embarrass himself. Not in front of someone like Johnny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see u soon hopefully


	4. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! SLIGHT spoilers for Dear Evan Hansen !!!

He didn't know what he was doing.

Jackson paced right and left in the lobby, waiting for the day to end. Waiting for the minute finger to tick across the clock, giving the hour finger an inch to the left. Waiting until Johnny comes out, and they can begin "hanging out".

He looked up at the clock with dread. 5:57. Three minutes left. He looked to the door, still closed. Sweat beaded his forehead in anticipation. He broke his stare as he looked up to the ceiling and sighed heavily. Relax, he told himself. Just relax.

And don't mess up.

And don't make a fool out of yourself.

And stop stuttering.

This was Johnny. An actual performer hanging out with him. Casually, no rehearsal or nervous singing or advice. Just two friends hanging out.

Jackson chuckled awkwardly, attempting to wave off all those anxious thoughts aside. Why was he so nervous?

The sudden opening and closing of the door startled the raccoon. He yelped a bit, looking at who just exited the auditorium.

There he was. The man himself.

"How's it going?" Johnny asked, walking over to him.

Jackson slowly waved at him, trying to adjust his stature and expression. He needed to look happy, but relaxed. Wait, what was he even thinking? Is hanging out with people always going to be a riddle?

Johnny waved back, looking down at him. The gorilla towered over he raccoon, causing more sweat to bead Jackson's forehead. God, he was so tall...

"We can hang out at my garage, if you want," Johnny offered smoothly. As if this was just a normal thing between them. Like they hung out all the time. Jackson was silent for a few seconds, as if even thinking he knew what to say, before eventually nodding. "Cool," He replied, smiling at him.

The two walked out the theater together, towards Johnny's truck. Jackson's eyes widened a bit. Woah, he had a truck? And he was going to let him ride in it?

He gulped quietly. Better not screw this up.

\---

The ride there was quick. Silence had filled the air between them. No talking, no radio, just the sound of rubber screeching on the road as Johnny drove down.

Jackson wanted to break the silence many times, but conversation topics were never present for him. All he had were just some cliche ice-breakers. 'Crazy weather we're having, eh?' 'How's your day going?' 'So...you into politics?' But then again, it'd be better than nothing.

He told himself several times to engage with Johnny, to actually make it feel like they were friends. But everything seemed null and void on the drive. Not even any eye-contact. Why would he be complaining about that? He was terrible at eye-contact anyways.

Johnny, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. He kept his eyes on the road, taking a side-glance at Jackson every so often to check on how he was. He just seemed calm, in the moment. Not a care in the world.

Amazing.

"Well, here we are," Johnny parked the truck in his garage, jumping out of it. Jackson slid down from his his seat, onto the pavement. He looked around at the small department. It seemed a bit cramped, yet desolate.

"Woah, you live here?" Jackson commented, before realizing what he said. Was that rude? Insensitive?

A warm chuckle caused Jackson to relax. He turned around to see Johnny, arms crossed, a smile across his face.

"Yeah, I live here," he said. "I even have my own couch. Wanna see?" His statement was almost a tease. He turned around, walking out of Jackson's sight. Jackson soon followed, meeting him at a secluded part of the garage. The walls were plastered with low-quality posters of many diverse musical artists, ranging from the 1960's to the late 2000's. On the side was his couch, like he said, along with a record player on the ground. A crate of records stacked neatly in place resided next to it. Jackson stared at the corner with awe in the decoration. "It's kind of like my own room," Johnny stated. "My family doesn't exactly have the most luxurious life, but we manage."

Jackson took in the family line and almost smiled. He looked around the room some more. The posters, the record player and records, even the couch. His family must love him quite a lot!

"So," Johnny began. "What're you up for?"

Jackson snapped out of his awestruck state. He...actually never thought about that. What were they going to do, exactly? They never really talked to each other besides rehearsals. He shrugged.

Johnny's eyes peered from the raccoon, over to the records on the floor. "Wanna listen to some music?" He asked, looking over at his guest.

Jackson's eyes widened. Music, of course! They were performers, after all! Why didn't he think of that? "S-Sure!" He remarked. Johnny nodded, going over to his record crate, with Jackson following. Johnny kneeled down next to the box, sifting through a bunch of the record discs. Jackson looked down. "How many records do you have?" He asked with amazement as Johnny continued to search.

Johnny shrugged. "I dunno," he muttered. Eventually, he found a certain record and smiled with satisfaction. "Ah, here we go."

He took the disc out of its case, placing it on the player. "Get comfortable-- this is a good one," he told Jackson. The raccoon nodded and walked to the other side of the record player, mirroring Johnny. He watched the record player intently, as Johnny placed the needle onto the record.

And soon, the music began to play.

Jackson listened to the song with piqued interest. It was a bit of an odd song, he thought. A story about a girl in a man's life who wasn't exactly there, for some reason. Not something he could really relate to. But Johnny seemed to like it.

He watched from across the player as Johnny listened to the song as well, happily bobbing his head to the melody. He could even see him mouthing a few of the lyrics. It seemed like he just really loved this song.

The song ended abruptly. Jackson watched as Johnny snapped out of his little music world and took the record of the player, sliding it back into its plastic case.

"So, how'd you like it?" Johnny asked.

A smile quivered in Jackson's lips. "It was..great..." He was lying a bit. Sure, the song was good, but it just wasn't his cup of tea.

A fresh wave of silence filled the room. No music was playing and no one was talking. Jackson began to sweat a bit. What now?

"So," a new word drifted out of Johnny's mouth. Jackson looked at him quietly, attention caught. "What music do you like?" 

Jackson thought the question over for a second, before shrugging. "I...don't know, actually..." he replied, hastily. He looked over at Johnny's record crate again. He had such a broad taste in music...

Johnny chuckled. "Oh come on, there's gotta be something you like!" He said. "I mean- what was that song exactly? The window song?" The previous day called back to him as he remembered Jackson'a singing that one moment.

The raccoon's eyes widened a bit, ears flickering. The window song? He stifled a laugh into his paw, before clearing his throat, looking to the ground sheepishly. "It's-Um...It's called..."Waving Through A Window"...." he explained. "It's from a musical...called "Dear Evan Hansen"...."

Johnny smiled at him upon hearing the show name. "What's that about?"   
He asked, curiosity piqued. He didn't know many stageshows. 

"Oh, well," Jackson began, accepting the new topic. "It's, uhm...how do I put this...it's about this boy named Evan, of course, Evan Hansen. And he-he breaks his arm in the beginning of the show, but it turns out he didn't really break it, he let go of the tree because he was hella depressed that summer-" he caught himself going off topic and immediately stopped. 

Johnny motioned at him with his hand. "Go on." 

Calming himself down, Jackson continued. "He-um-he has social anxiety. He goes through life looking through a different lense than his peers," he explained. "And...it's hard for him, because he can't really describe what it's like for him, and he has trouble making friends, like finding that one friend who will listen to you and care..." he brought his legs to his chest, looking up at Johnny. "So, he makes one up."

The gorilla cocked his head to the side, baring an expression of confusion. "What does that mean?"

"Well," Jackson continued. "There's another boy, Connor Murphy, who...offs himself in the first act. And he had Evan's letter in his pocket- long story- and so his parents think that Evan was his friend...and Evan begins to tell a lie to sort of bring the spirit of their dead son back to life, in a way. And to sort of make up a friend for himself..."

Johnny took in the explanation, nodding. "That...sounds interesting. Sounds like you know a lot about this show."  
Jackson nodded slightly. 

"Are there any other songs from that show?" Johnny asked. "You said it was a musical, after all."

Jackson looked up. "Oh? Oh, yeah!" He perked up a bit, almost smiling. "The music is frigging amazing! Like, 'Waving Through A Window', 'Requiem', 'Only Us,'" his expression depleted slightly when he realized Johnny probably doesn't know these songs. He got out his phone, opening up his music app and began to type in a title. "Oh, this one's my favorite," he gushed. Upon finding his desired song, he placed the phone in the center of them, letting it play. 

Johnny looked at the phone from where he was sitting. The words "For Forever" slid upon the screen a few times.

Soon, the music began. A strong string orchestra followed by a piano. 

"End of May, or early June...  
This picture perfect afternoon we share..." 

Johnny took a moment to listen to the music. It was a nice, soothing melody with calm lyrics. The lyrics were a bit odd, but they were cool regardless. Wasn't exactly the best, but still good. 

He looked up from the screen at Jackson, who seemed to really be enjoying the song. Judging from his lips mouthing the lyrics almost on-point, he could tell this was definitely his favorite song. 

Jackson had been mostly in his own world during this song, just taking the moment to take it in. Just mouthing the lyrics subconsciously while staring at the ground, resting his cheek on his paw. It was an amazing song, and he was glad Johnny got to hear it. 

He looked up, meeting eyes with Johnny. He seemed to be into the song as well. The two stared at each other for a moment, before smiling together. 

And that was when the chorus kicked in.

"All we see is sky for forever...  
We watch the sky pass by for forever...  
Feels like we could go on for forever this way,  
This way...." 

Jackson continued to mouth the lyrics with the same passion as yesterday as he stared at Johnny. But other than that, the only sound between the two was the song. 

"Two friends...  
True friends...  
On a perfect day...." 

The song ended soon. The two kept on looking at each other for a bit, silence filling the air, before Jackson broke it was a small laugh. 

"So...you like the song?" he asked, hiding his smile by his paw.

Johnny nodded, shrugging a bit. "Yeah, it was good..." he grinned a bit as well. "You think you could sing it?"

Jackson's eyes widened slightly. "What?" He asked. "...Maybe...?"

He shrugged. "Hey, you're a good singer. And you know the lyrics."

"Hah...I honestly think you'd be amazing at singing this."

Johnny looked at Jackson and smiled warmly. Jackson blushed a bit, grabbing his phone from the middle. 

"Well...I guess I'll call my roommate now..." Jackson began to look into his contacts, looking for Annette's.

"Oh, do you want me to drive you?" Johnny offered, standing up. 

Jackson looked up from the phone, standing up himself. He forgot he had a truck. "Oh! S-Sure!" He said, bowing slightly in respect. "Thanks!" 

Johnny directed him to the direction of the truck, walking over to it. He opened the garage, taking the keys into his hands. The two jumped in the vehicle, looking at each other as Johnny started the engine.

Jackson began staring out the window. 

"So," Johnny started, beginning to drive. Jackson looked over at him. "What other musicals do you like?" 

For once, Jackson smiled at him. 

"Well, there's this one musical called Hamilton..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this isn't the only musical that'll be mentioned in this fic


	5. An Interlude: Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smaller chapter as Jackson returns to his apartment. Annette has good news and sees Jackson has a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I was on a long hiatus lmao

"So let me get this straight," Johnny chuckled. "There's a musical based entirely around an obscure 80's movie?" 

Jackson nodded, watching as the truck drove down the road. "Yep. And there's one based off a 2004 science-fiction novel." He was happy to admit it- he was having a great time with Johnny! "Both only off-Broadway, sadly," he sighed. 

Johnny nodded his head, turning the wheel. Looking out the window, he soon saw a small apartment drift into sight. Jackson looked out as well. 

"Oh, this is my house!" The raccoon said. Looking over at him, Johnny halted the truck and drove it closer to the sidewalk. As they neared the building, Jackson saw a figure in the front, hands on her hips. Once they were entirely there, she became completely clear. 

Annette. With a face of that just screamed trouble. 

Jackson looked at his clock. Wait...5:41 pm? That was still early...did he tell Annette he would be at someone's house...garage...home? Was it rude that he didn't say anything? Wait, is she even mad at him specifically? 

"Here we go," Johnny said, stopping his truck. Snapping out of his thought, Jackson looked over at Johnny and smiled with gratefulness. 

"Thanks," he said, stepping out of the truck carefully. He began walking to the entrance of the apartment, looking at Annette, tapping her foot impatiently, eyes following him as he stepped forwards. 

Johnny watched as he walked, before driving off. "See you tomorrow!" 

Jackson quickly turned around, waving as the truck drove off the street. 

"Ahem," Annette cleared her throat, reminding Jackson that she was still there. He looked back, anticipating her reaction. "So...that your friend?" Her voice drawled, tiredly. 

Jackson nodded, trying to keep a calm head. "Y-Yeah. He's from the theater." 

Her eyebrow raised. "The theater, eh?" She asked, doubtful tone in her voice. "What's his name?" 

"J-Johnny," Jackson replied quickly. His eyebrow raised as well. What was with all these questions? 

"Johnny?" The name rolled off Annette's tongue as quickly as it did Jackson's. She thought the name over for a few seconds, before her face quickly lit up. "Cool!" She suddenly beamed. 

Jackson flinched from the sudden mood change. 

"C'mon inside, we gotta talk," she opened the door for Jackson, who quickly walked in. 

"So wait," Jackson began as he walked up he stairs. "You're not mad?" 

She shrugged. "Why would I?" 

Jackson looked at her over his shoulder. "You just seemed really...pissed off at the front of the apartment." 

She chuckled a bit. "Oh come on! A random truck comes up to my apartment carrying my roommate, who never texted me about it! You think I wouldn't be worried?" 

He mentally face-palmed. That's what he forgot to do! 

"I'm glad you guys are friends, though. Turns out that callback may not've been as bad as you thought." 

He rolled his eyes, stepping back from the door so Annette could open it. "Just...don't force me to do anything like that again," he commented. 

"Duly noted," she replied, clicking open the door. 

The two walked into their small apartment. Annette walked over to the microwave, grabbing the two hot pockets from inside. She placed each of them on a plastic dish, sliding one of them to Jackson. 

"Dinnertime," she said, beginning to eat into hers as she sat down in her seat. 

Jackson pulled open the chair across from her, sitting down as well. He started munching on his hot pocket while thinking about his day. 

Apparently, Annette was thinking the same thing. "So," she blurted out. "How was your day?" 

He shrugged. "Oh? It was fine, I guess," he bit into his pocket again. "You?" 

"Glad you asked!" She exclaimed, setting down her dinner. She burst from her seat, lips forming into a bright, bubbly smile. Jackson smirked from her sudden burst of energy. She probably had some big news. "I got a job!" She exclaimed, pointed to herself proudly. 

His eyes widened. Annette got a job? She finally got a job? "Really?" He got up from his seat, walking over to take her empty plate. "Where?" 

"Crows' Nest," Annette explained. "Retail shop. I start Monday."

"Sweet," Jackson replied, placing the dishes in the sink. "Glad to see someone here's working..."

She giggled. "Oh come on, you're gonna be raking in the big bucks once this show's over!" 

He rolled his eyes, as well as his sleeves. "Okay, but this is a one time thing. Got it?" 

She shrugged. "I dunno. You seem to be having a fun time with that gorilla of yours." 

"What, Johnny? He's just a friend, we can talk outside of the show." 

She stifled a laugh. 

He raised an eyebrow. "What're you laughing about?" 

"Jack, you're not exactly the best at keeping in touch?"

Drying his hands, he shrugged. "Yeah, so what? It's...not like he thinks of me as anything special," he turned off the sink. He stood in silence, staring out of the window as the sun continued to set for the night. 

Anything special. He wasn't anything special to him. And he was fine with that. Right? They're still friends...

"Jackson? Jackson?" Annette called him, bringing him back to the world. Jackson quickly looked back at her, her face baring slight concern. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah," he muttered. Bringing himself together, he walked to his room and opened the door. "G'night," he called out. 

Annette watched as he disappeared for the night, shaking her head. She followed suit, going into her own room. "Goodnight."

Jackson closed the door, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. He laid in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling as he thought about his day.

Johnny...was just a co-worker. A nice guy, nothing more. And there would never be nothing more. Hopefully. After all, who would wants someone like Jackson Riley?

He closed his eyes, drifting off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm writing more pls


	6. It's Time For Big Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson convinces Buster to change his act for the show. Johnny invites him to Ash's party that night, and hey begin to bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The folks are gone-- it's time for Big Fun! (Big Fun!)

"Two friends...on a perfect day."

It was the fourth day. 

Jackson was singing in his practice room. Once he finished, he looked over at Buster and smiled awkwardly. He never thought he would've requested a song change at all. Did he like it? 

Well, considering Buster's smile, he just might've. 

"Wow!" Buster beamed, smiling wide. "Jackson, that was really good! Great passion to make up for the lack of movement, bursting energy, and lots of flair!" 

Jackson's smile widened. "Th-Thanks!" 

Buster nodded. "Yes, I think a song change would be nice for you," he scribbled down a few notes on his clipboard. "One addition, though--" 

Oh god. Either this meant something good or bad. Easy or insanely difficult. Would he have to work with someone? God, no. 

"Yes, Mr. Moon?" Jackson replied, awaiting this note. He just hoped it wouldn't be so hard. 

"Could we have some accompaniment in this piece?" He asked. "I mean, considering you have no choreography, you would just be standing on the stage singing passionate a cappella. However-- if we had just as passionate accompaniments, this could really be an incredible performance!" 

Accompaniment? Wow. He's never really thought of that before. Just an instrument? Guitar, violin, drums...

Piano. 

Jackson smiled. This note wouldn't be that hard at all. "Sure, of course," he replied. "Thank you, Mr. Moon." 

Buster smiled at him, turning to walk through the door. "No problem, Jackson." 

Jackson waved at him, smiling. He turned to the wall to continue practicing in silence. He made a mental note to talk with a certain someone later. 

"And, Jackson--" 

Jackson's head snapped back at the koala. 

"I see great potential in you," he beamed, opening the door. Jackson smiled wider, flattered, and a bit shocked as well. He nodded his head in thanks as Buster left the room. 

He turned around to the wall, clasping his paws together in pride. Great potential...he would have to work really hard now. He didn't to let Mr. Moon down! 

"Hello? 

His attention was drawn to the door, however. He smiled as he saw a familiar gorilla in the doorway. 

"Johnny!" He greeted happily, before stopping and straightening himself up. Professionalism. "J-Johnny. What brings you here?" He restated calmly. Arms behind his back, shoulders back, posture straight. But still, a spark of joy lit up in his core just seeing Johnny there. 

It was always a wonder to see Johnny's face in the day. They had been kinda hanging out more, just a few conversations here and there. But Jackson had been meaning to ask him to hang out again. Maybe today would be that day. 

"I see you're pretty chipper today," Johnny replied, almost laughing. He was kinda amused by Jackson's fancy, slightly dorky stature. 

Jackson nodded. "Mr. Moon agreed to the song change!" He said excitedly. 

"Really? That's great!" Johnny replied, smiling as well. "Anyways, I just came to see if you wanted to come to Ash's party tonight." 

Jackson's eyes widened, his posture fading slightly. "P-Party?" Someone was throwing a party? And Johnny was asking him to come? Was this an invite? 

He nodded. "Yeah, she's throwing a party for the new performers." He explained. "She likes getting to know the new guys. You in?" 

Parties. Jackson was scared for a second, calling back to all the high-school parties he saw in the movies. Red solo cups all around a trashed garage, everyone either vomiting on the floor or making out passionately. And there were people. Lots and lots of people. 

But somehow, he nodded. "Y-Yeah, sure! Party? With you and Ash? Count me in!" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not knowing at all what he was even saying. 

Johnny flashed two thumbs at him. "Sweet! I'll tell Ash you said yes. See you there!" And with that, he walked out the room. 

Jackson waved goodbye, chuckling nervously, before his laughter dissolved into small shrieks of fear. 

God, parties. When the hell was the last time he was even invited to a party? Why did he even say yes?! What was he going to do? Jackson shook his head, trying to clear his mind of all these thoughts. Humming a melody, he began to practice his song again. 

"End of May, or early June..."

But the nervousness lingered on for the rest of the day. A party. With other people.

At least Johnny will be there.

\---

Jackson had never really met anyone around the theater besides Johnny and Buster. He knew who the others were, their faces had been plastered all over the Internet for like a month, but ever since he joined, Johnny seemed to be the only one he liked. 

Not to say anyone else was bad, per se. Just that Johnny seemed to be a nice fit for him. A lot of the other performers either seemed to be extravagant and excited, or completely chill. Sure there were others like Meena or Rosita, more self-reserved. But they were sort of working with others most of the time, or just not very social. 

And there was another key point. Socialism. Jackson was the worst when it came to be if social. No conversation abilities, topics, or even sentence ever came to his mind. He had no idea how to even start a conversation with someone. 

And maybe that's how he was draw to Johnny. A laid-back, charming man who never came off as too excited or extreme, and who also wasn't afraid to start the conversation. He was sweet and friendly, and he even had great advice! He's the perfect friend! 

Jackson was just glad he would be at the party. Luckily, Johnny could probably be his accompanist. It would work out great, since at least rehearsal wouldn't be entirely awkward. 

Either way, he was still dreading the second where Annette's truck screeched to a halt and he would be left in front of Ash's apartment. 

He sighed. A party. A friggin party. When was the last time he's been to a party? Like, third grade? Everyone socializing, things going crazy, the music pumped to thirty...yeesh. 

But he had to keep a cool head. This was going to be business. He needed an accompanist, and he was going to get an accompanist. That was all. Then he could just go home and pass out in his bed, no socializing needed. 

"Cheer up, dude," Annette muttered, over the GPS' latest instruction. Jackson looked at her, while she kept her eyes on the road. "It's going to be fine." 

He didn't respond. It was going to be fine, it was going to be fine, that's what he's been saying all day! Won't make anything better. 

And as if on cue, her truck stopped abruptly in front of a large, red apartment. One clear window on the bottom illuminated brightly, contrasting all of the other floors. Jackson's heart nearly stopped. 

There he was. 

Collecting himself, he breathed in and out before exiting the truck. Eyes nailed to the door, he half-heartedly waved goodbye as he began to walk towards the building. With every step, it seemed like his legs were turning into stone. His core sank deeper the closer he got to the door, pretty much at the lowest level by the time he finally got to the door. 

Jackson stared at the door for minutes. He couldn't hear any music on the other side. Maybe the party was done and he could call Annette to pick him up? He threw his head over his shoulder, as if to double-check if she actually left by now. Maybe, just maybe, he could've ran to her truck and told her to go home. 

His fist hovered over the door, working up the courage to just knock. God, he couldn't even do a simple command! Why did he even agree to go? 

Right. For Johnny. 

Lucky for him, the door opened itself. 

"Oh, hey!" The porcupine's bright voice greeted. Ash looked up at Jackson, motioning for him to come in. "Sweet, come on in! The more the merrier, am I right?" 

Hesitantly, Jackson stepped in. 

\---

Ash's apartment was surprisingly humble. 

Not much music playing, if for the regular radio. No alcohol, no malicious swearing, no red solo cups. Just a bunch of guests sitting around the radio talking. 

"Jackson, was it?" Ash asked, biting into a chip. Jackson nodded, no words spoken. "Cool. Johnny mentioned you were coming." 

Johnny mentioned him. Did that mean he was here? Jackson's heart almost fluttered at the thought of someone he actually knew being there. He opened his mouth to ask where he was, but he closed it abruptly, not knowing what to say. 

"So," Ash continued. "How's the show going for you?" 

"Oh! Um..." Jackson ran his fingers through his fur. How should he answer? "It's-It's going good. Johnny's a really cool guy, y'know?" Way to be subtle. 

Ash nodded. "Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy," she agreed. "So I take it you guys are friends?" 

"Wh-What?" Jackson was suddenly surprised at the question. For a question as small as that, it somehow gained a lot of moments in thought from him. 

Well, the answer should be obvious. They hang out, they talk to each other, they like each other's company. Sure, they're friends, but nothing important. But it made Jackson wonder, did Johnny think they were friends? God, it was a stupid question and he should've just answered quickly, but now he couldn't and he just had to stand there stupidly, like he always did. 

"Y-Yeah," he answered abruptly. "We-We're friends, cool friends, yeah," the sentence stumbled out awkwardly. Jackson almost sighed. Not even ten minutes in and he already looked awkward. Ash luckily didn't seem to mind, though.

"Meena!" Ash diverted her attention to the click of the front door, leading her attention away from Jackson. She ran to the front of the apartment, greeting the elephant in the room (im sorry). 

Jackson watched as she turned to the front, and sighed in relief. Now with that conversation out of the way, he could focus on the main topic. Johnny. His accompanist. His coworker. His...friend? Acquaintance? Nobody? 

He tried to direct his way through the room, which grew more crowded as more visitors showed up. Everyone seemed to be mingling and getting along well. There was a panther playing a love song for a skunk, a young dog playfully punching a fox, and a bird joking around with a few other animals. All good friends...

Johnny shouldn't be hard to spot, right? He and Ash were great friends, he should've been there already, right? They were great friends, right? A few weeks working together in the same theater should've brought them somewhat close together. But then, wouldn't they technically be 'great friends' since they worked for a week together? 

It...It was odd. Just one hang out after work and a few passing mumbles wouldn't really be considered a 'friendship', would it? Should Jackson ask him out more? Would he like that? They could get to know each other more, and they could actually be friends...

Why was he even worrying about that? They were just coworkers. That's not even the proper term. But either way, they were just work buddies. That's all Jackson wanted, and Johnny probably couldn't care less. Besides, why would Johnny, a rising star, want to possibly hang out with him? 

A flash of green caught Jackson's eye, as out of the blue he saw Johnny near a radio. He almost smiled, reaching out slightly to catch his attention, until he saw the other guests around Johnny. 

Jackson stepped back, letting Johnny and his group socialize for a bit. He saw the group smiling and talk, even laughing a few times. They seemed...happy. 

He waited for their conversation to end before stepping forward. Clearing his throat, he presented himself for Johnny to see. 

"H-Hello," he muttered. 

"Oh, hi Jackson!" Johnny greeted. "Say, how's it going? You enjoying the party?" 

"Yeah, well, I-um..." Jackson whispered, trying to find the right words. A lot of guests were talking around them, little slips of their conversations catching into his hearing range. This wouldn't be the best environment. "Can we, um...can we step away from the crowd for a bit? I need to ask you something..." 

Johnny nodded. "Sure." 

Jackson walked over, out of the living room and into a hallway, the walls finally blocking out the sound. He turned around to see that Johnny followed. 

"What do you need to ask me?" Johnny asked. He slid his hands into his pockets, looking at Jackson with an intrigued smile.

Jackson looked up at him, trying to collect all his thoughts together to focus on the main question at hand. He stood up straight, shoulders back, and looked him right in the eye. 

"Mr. Moon wanted me to add some instrumental to my piece. Would you like to accompany me on piano?" He stated, matter-of-factually. Several moments passed as he awaited Johnny's answer. 

All Johnny did was smile. "Sure," he said. "I'd love to." 

Jackson relaxed a bit at his laid-back exterior. That's all? "Th-Thank you. Want to...want to start, maybe, kinda, Monday?" He was trying not to stumble over his words, but he was new to this. Planning actual rehearsals with an actual partner. 

Johnny nodded. "Cool. Monday." 

And then quiet. Just quiet between them. Just them behind a wall together. Jackson didn't know what to say. Or if he should say anything. Was Johnny waiting for him to say something? Was he being rude? Should he just call him? Everything was done. 

Right? 

"S-So," Jackson blurted out at last, catching Johnny's attention. "Is-Is her house always like this?" 

Johnny blinked. "What, like a party every night?" 

"Wh-What? N-No, of course not!" Jackson was a bit shocked by the sudden reply. "I meant, like, is her house always so inviting? Well, really her apartment, but I was just saying- I just meant- Cause Ash is so-" he stopped in the middle of all his word vomit. "I'm sorry." 

Johnny looked at him, before chuckling a bit. "Oh, it's okay. And yeah, Ash really likes visitors." 

Jackson looked at him. Was he laughing at him? With him? Well, he wasn't laughing now, but-

"Honestly, it's just that I'm not that comfortable around large crowds..." Jackson explained, looking down. "I-I'm not exactly the most social guy out there..." 

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that's fine. Though, then, why did you come if you were uncomfortable? You didn't have to." 

Jackson looked at him, softening up a bit. "Well...I heard there were snacks," he joked. 

Johnny chuckled. Jackson's face lit up. He made him laugh! 

"Ha ha, yeah.." Jackson laughed with him. "But really, I just came cause I wanted to ask you about the accompaniment thing. I really have no purpose here, actually..."

"Well, do you need a ride home?" 

Jackson shook his head. "Oh, no, it's okay. My roommate can pick me up. I just...um...kinda wanna just... talk." 

"Cool," Johnny replied. "What about?" 

What about? Jackson's eyes widened. He's never gotten this far before. 

"Well, okay..." He began. "O-Out of the blue, I guess. So...why...how..." He tried to grasp a conversation topic somewhere, anywhere. "....how did you get into the show? Y'know, the first show?" 

"Oh, well, long story...." Johnny began. "But in short, I just auditioned for Mr. Moon and he ended up choosing me!" 

"You just...sang?" 

He nodded. "I guess. I had to learn piano during the month, though."

Jackson's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, you learned piano during that month? An entire song, on piano, in one month?" 

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. It wasn't my best work, honestly. Given a few more weeks, and I may have perfected it." 

"God, you were amazing!" Jackson blurted out. He almost punched on him. "Like, learning an entire instrument in one month? Practicing how to perform both skills simultaneously? And coming out with something like your performance?" He rambled.

Johnny nodded, chuckling at his enthusiasm. 

"Wow...you're way better than me," Jackson admitted. His expression deteriorated. 

Johnny stopped chuckling. "What?" He asked. "Come on, you're great at singing." 

Jackson shook his head immediately. "Not really. I mean, I haven't sung in years! I'm a total nervous wreck!"

Johnny frowned a bit as the raccoon went on. "You shouldn't say that about yourself."

"Why?" Jackson asked, laughing. "It's true! I can't sing, I can't act, I can't perform...hell, I don't even know why Mr. Moon chose me! I mean, Annette is way better! You were there, you should know!"

Jackson stopped talking when Johnny quietly placed a hand on his shoulder. Johnny was looking at him, almost worried. Was it something he said?

"Are you...okay?" Johnny asked, voice slightly tense. 

He nodded, confused by the worry. "Yeah, of course," he assured. "I...I say stuff like that all the time."

"You do?" Johnny asked. Jackson nodded again. "Well, you shouldn't. You shouldn't tell yourself these things. You're a good singer, Jackson," he spoke strongly with each word, wanting Jackson to fully listen to him.

The raccoon continuously nodded, but still remained silent. Johnny needed to find a different approach. 

"Look...if you want to, I can give you lessons," Johnny offered. Sure, Jackson was good, but he did need to improve. And maybe then he could know how good he really was.

At the mention of lessons, Jackson's eyes widened. Lessons? For singing? With Johnny? He thought over all the pros, cons, and scenarios that could occur from it. 

On one hand, he'd get to know Johnny better. On the other, Johnny could end up not caring about him in the end. But then, who is to say he won't care about him? Then again, what makes it certain that he'll think of Jackson as a friend after everything?

Johnny waited patiently for Jackson's answer. After minutes of debating with himself, Jackson finally came for a conclusion.

"S-Sure," Jackson nodded. "You can teach me."

Johnny smiled. "Sweet! Wanna start Monday?"

Jackson didn't know what to say. He didn't know where he was going with this. Regardless, he on a smile and nodded. "Sure, Monday!"

With that, Jackson walked out of the hallway trying to look confident, only to be bombarded by the many loud voices than before. He rushed out of the apartment, covering his ears, and dialed Annette's number into his phone as the last few events played in his head.

Accompaniment. Meetings. Lessons. Monday.

Monday. He and Johnny would start on Monday.

His paw wrapped around his phone tightly as he placed it to his ear. He tried to sound calm and steady as he told Annette to pick him up.

What was he getting himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the hiatus, again


	7. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Soon came Monday morning. 

Jackson had been dreading this day all weekend. The feeling never went away. It was just building up higher and higher. This would either be the day where he became friends with someone way out of his league, or the day he screwed himself over for the rest of his life. Well...maybe not his entire life, but it felt like that. 

"God...why did I say yes?" He whispered to himself as he stepped out of the car. 

He arrived early, knowing he would enter the theater hesitantly. And as he figured, it took a few minutes for him to gain the courage to walk in. He sighed heavily. Time to rehearse for what could possibly be one of the biggest shows he's ever been in. Time for a singing lesson with one of the nicest and most talented men he's ever met. Taking a final sip of his coffee, he dumped his cup into a trash can. He walked into the auditorium, ready to start the day. 

Johnny was already onstage. 

"Oh, Jackson! You're here!" Johnny's voice was Jackson first thing heard as he entered the theater. 

Jackson stood in place, not knowing what to do. Was he late or something? Or was that an overstatement? Maybe Johnny just liked being early too. 

"It's good to see you so early!" Johnny said as Jackson walked onstage.

"Well, you know what they say," Jackson struggled for some small talk. "'Early is on time, on time is late!'"

He awaited Johnny's response, but instead found him looking slightly confused. Jackson's expression fell from his face, as he berated himself in embarrassment.

(Johnny probably doesn't know that, idiot! Not everyone is a theater nerd like you!)

"Sorry," Jackson apologized, brushing away his thought. "Just a...Just a theater saying, I guess."

"Oh, it's alright," Johnny smiled again, turning to practice some chords. 

Jackson listened to him play. He was so amazing. He couldn't believe he was working with someone like him. At all. 

"So, how about we start with that song of yours?" He asked. Jackson stumbled a bit, nodding hurriedly as he walked to center-stage. 

The raccoon looked out into the many empty chairs of the audience, all of which would soon be filled in a little less than a month. Animals of all kinds, all eyes on him. Everyone looking at him, judging him. 

(Don't mess this up, idiot.) 

Johnny began the first few notes of the song. Jackson counted in his head before he had to begin singing. Although he had studied the song several times, he always felt paranoid that he was about to mess up a cue. One little slip-up, and everything could fall apart. 

A sudden vision rose in his head. Him, center stage, a lone spotlight shining on him. It's quiet in the entire theater; no singing, no piano, no applause. Just a hundred eyes, watching him carefully. Studying his every move, his every breath, everything. And if he dares moves one single step, every single eye begins to follow. Pressure builds on him. Building slowly and slowly, higher and higher. He's frozen in stunned confusion in public. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do! 

"Jackson? Jackson?"

Suddenly, he's back to reality. Swear is dripping on his forehead. He's been staring at the microphone, silent. He hasn't sung anything.

(Great, dummy. You missed your cue! What if that happens onstage?)

Johnny stepped away from the piano and walked over to him. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking over at Jackson. Nervous vibes expelled from the raccoon, who just stood silent, staring out at the audience.

(Say something. Don't keep him waiting. Say something, idiot!)

"Jackson, do you want to talk about it?"

(Don't talk about it! He wouldn't understand, you're just freaking out about nothing!) 

Between Johnny's concerned questions and the persistent voice in his head, Jackson couldn't focus. He could only panic. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He was hyperventilating. 

(You're pathetic, you know? You weren't supposed to panic. You weren't supposed to freak out. You were supposed to get through this. This was supposed to be different.) 

"Are you nervous? Nervous of what?"

(This isn't middle school anymore. This is real life. Wake up.)

He felt trapped between the two voices. Different words collided over each other, either concerned or pitiful. His breaths continued to shake, no comprehensible words coming from his mouth. 

"I...I-I'm sorry," was all he could muster out before Jackson ran offstage, out of the theater. 

"Jackson? Jackson!" Johnny took chase after him, wanting to know what was wrong. Jackson was troubled by something, but he couldn't talk, and he didn't know why. 

Jackson ran upstairs, into the bathroom. He didn't care anymore. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to go home.

He didn't want to do this anymore. 

\---

There he was. Locked in a bathroom stall, knees clutched around his chest tightly. Trying to recover his breaths quickly, but only loosing them faster. 

His eyes peered around the small room. Dark walls surrounding him, towering over him, his back pressed against the pack of paper toilet seats behind him. The only sound in the entire room was his faint, quiet, echoing breaths. 

God, he was a mess. 

How did it end up like this? He was feeling safe the other day, hours before the moment onstage. The moment where he stood, eyes laced at the back if the theater, prepared to sing his heart out with his friend accompanying him...

...before his mind doubled down in terror, his breath breaking into a collection of them as sweat began to bead his clustered head. Then it was just his friend's nervous call to him, and that's where the memory ends. 

Here. 

He buried his head into his knees, claws digging into his legs. He felt terrible.

It came at him from a mile away, like a raging beast. It was smacked into the core of his chest, quickly spreading throughout his body in a fast pace. And the only way his mind could react to was with panic. 

He thought the feeling had gone away years ago. Then again, he the last time he's been onstage was years ago. 

He stifled a small sob, looking at the toilet paper. Maybe he could just wipe down his eyes and go back down. Just act like everything was fine...

No. He couldn't.

That would imply that he would go back onstage again. It would imply that he was entirely fine and stable. 

He wasn't fine.

He was never fine. 

He would never be fine. 

Why was he even surprised? He had been building up this moment since the party...it was the usual sequence. Surprise. Anticipation. Happiness. Fear. Here. 

He buried his head again. He just wanted to stay there for the rest of the day. Then never come back to this theater again. 

It could've been great, of course. But now he's just wallowing in his shame, while Johnny's probably somewhere else confused and...

Knock. 

"Jackson?" A familiar voice surprised him. Another knock. "Are you in there?"

Jackson looked at the door, panic fueling his mind again. He scrambled to the toilet paper, dabbing at his wet eyes before standing up again to open the door. His paw quivered at the lock, gulping down stress, before finally opening it and facing him. 

"Jackson!" Johnny looked down at Jackson, his hands landing swiftly on the raccoon's shoulders. "You okay? You just ran off and I wanted to-" 

"I'm fine, Johnny," Jackson cut him off swiftly, managing his breaths. "Let's just...get back down there." He stepped beside him to exit the bathroom, but he moved him back in place. 

"You...You sure?" He asked, looking down with concern. "You've been crying."

Jackson cringed a bit, his paw raising to rub his eyes away from tears. Shit, of course he would notice. 

"Y-Yeah," he replied. "Let's just go..." 

"Jackson, I'm not going until you're better." 

Jackson's eyes widened, snapping to look up at him. "Wh-What? N-No, you can't, we're missing rehearsal."

"I had to look for you," Johnny explained. "Because we're partners, and I need to look out for you. Now, tell me- genuinely tell me- are you okay?"

Jackson stared at Johnny. He...He was looking for him. He interrupted their rehearsal. God, why did he had to be such an inconvenience? Jackson struggled for words, but all that came out was a sob. He suddenly dug his head into his chest, quickly hugging him. 

Johnny said nothing. He just let the raccoon cry, rubbing his back soothingly.

\---

When he got home, he told everything to Annette.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" She had immediately gone into worrying-mother mode. 

Jackson simply shook his head. "N-No. I'm fine, I swear," he insisted, walking to his room. "I just need some time alone."

Before he could close the door, Annette held it open. 

"Jackson, if you're having anxiety, we can talk about it--"

"I'm fine, I promise," Jackson replied. "I kinda just wanna sleep right now."

Hesitantly, Annette nodded. She closed the door and left him to his peace.

Jackson shook his head and laid down on his bed. What happened today was unacceptable for him. He told himself he would be better. And everything fell apart in his hands.

He sighed, feeling darkness seep into his eyes. Hopefully tomorrow would be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> consistent update schedule? don't know them


	8. A Lovely Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it begins

Jackson needed to get some air. 

Ever since the "incident" on Monday, Annette had been babying him at home. Now, it wasn't like a normal friend worrying about their roommate. Some soft blankets and movies wouldn't satisfy her. Constant questions would tumble out of her mouth, and she would always squabble around trying to please Jackson. This only made him feel worse, but he couldn't say anything. The warm anxiety in his chest was bad enough, now he had a headache on top of that. 

Thankfully, the whole theater had a sudden day off. Buster had called everyone to describe the situation: an arrangement with the Citten Corporation about the financial future of the theater. He needed top he theater to himself, but would go into more detail on Thursday. 

Jackson felt relief fill his core. An opportunity to get out, thank God. The day he woke up, he zipped up his jacket and made his way out to the plaza. 

"JACKSON! Jackson!" Annette's voice boomed out the hall right as Jackson turned the knob. He scowled, grumbling curses under his breath. "Where are you going?"

He looked over his shoulder quickly. "Park." He stated. Annette opened her mouth to speak again, but he quickly cut her off. "No thanks, I don't need a ride. I'll walk there. Yes, I'll call you if anything happens," he read off the list in a dull tone, just wanting to get out of their apartment for a bit. "Love you."

"What about your meds?" 

Right as the door clicked, Jackson stopped right in his tracks. His eyes widened, and he gulped down a lump in his throat he didn't even know he had. His grip on the door had tightened. "I-I don't need them," he simply said, before finally exiting. 

Annette shook her head a bit before letting him go. 

He huffed behind the door, fixing his jacket. He wouldn't talk to anybody. He just needed a break.

Just a break. Nothing else.

\---

Johnny couldn't keep his mind off of Jackson after Monday. What happened with him? Was he okay? Did he need support or something? 

"He sort of just...ran off," Johnny was talking with his friends after rehearsal. "And when I found him in the bathroom, he was crying. I don't know what happened. After that, he just practiced by himself."

Meena was fiddling with a microphone cord when she looked at Johnny sympathetically. " Poor guy. Maybe he has anxiety."

Johnny shrugged. "I don't know, he didn't want to talk about it at all."

She looked at him with a small smile. "W-Well, I think the best thing to do is tell him it's okay and he can tell you anything."

He looked up at her and smiled. She probably knew a lot about anxiety. "Thanks, Meena."

"No problem," She said, walking away with the microphone. 

Johnny crossed his arms and leaned on the wall, contemplating the advice. It was good and all, but Jackson didn't look like the type to understand him. Not in a bad way or anything, but he seemed like someone who pushed things like that away. 

He left the theater, hands in his pockets, wondering what to tell him when he saw him next.

\---

Jackson walked down to the park just for something to eat. Maybe something sweet or whatever. He wanted something good. He walked along the sidewalk, glancing at every store around the market, hoping something would catch his attention.

Muffled melodies could be heard in the distance. The closer he walked to the park, the louder the music became. Stopping at a corner, Jackson glanced at the band playing in the park with a small crowd gathering around them.

"Huh," he whispered to himself. "I didn't know there were local bands here." 

As nothing had caught his attention, Jackson began to wander over to the park. Luckily, the audience wasn't too clamorous. The band could be well heard even over the chatter of the audience. The swell, jazzy lyrics of the group made him relax a bit. Although it wasn't his type, he caught himself swaying in-tune. At one point, he could even smile. It was....great.

"So," a familiar voice rang through his ears, out of the blue. "Come here often?"

Sudden fear swelling in his heart, Jackson froze in his place. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. It couldn't be! Not here, not now! 

Heart quickly racing, he turned his head and his expression paled as he looked up at Johnny himself. Right next to him. In that very park. Quietly, Johnny waved at him with a sweet smile.

Jackson was lost in thought. What should he do? What should he say? He could just ignore Johnny and everything would go along smoothly! But then, ignoring Johnny, his co-worker and mentor, would just be downright rude! What could he do, what could he do, what could he do?!

Taking a small breath, He straightened out his back and regained his composure. He couldn't lose himself now. Not after...yesterday.

"Hmm?" He hummed, trying to look as if he just heard Johnny. "Oh no, just getting some snacks around here," he stumbled over his words, but tried to look truthful. "I just...the music here is pretty good, you know?"

Johnny nodded, crossing his arms. "Yeah, they play here all the time. It's why I came!" He peered over at Jackson, slightly surprised he was even here. He didn't take him for the jazz type. 

Jackson went quiet over that, trying to lock himself in the music again. He looked over at Johnny, then at the band again, remaining unfocused. Thoughts were poking at the back of his head. He should say something-- anything --about yesterday. An apology, an explanation, anything!

"I just want to say," he blurted out quickly. Johnny looked at him, attention caught. "I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. I blew up because of my emotions, and I promise it will never happen again," he ran over his words smoothly and swiftly, hoping to look competent enough. "Let's just...forget about it and start over, okay?" He stuck out his paw for a handshake.

Johnny looked at the hand in-front of him, slightly confused about the ordeal. 

"Yesterday?" He asked, shaking his head. "You don't have to apologize for yesterday, it's alright."

Jackson shook his head, insistent on apologizing. "Look, I interrupted our rehearsal because of my own personal issues, and so I think I should set them aside for now. If I am to work in a professional area, I should at least act professional, okay?" 

Johnny thought over the raccoon's words, before shrugging and shaking his hand anyways. Looks like he wasn't taking no for an answer. 

"Sure..." Johnny said, softly shaking his hand. "You know, even if you wanna be 'professional', you can talk to me like a normal person, right?" He gestured towards the band. "I mean, we're just friends out in public, listening to some nice music." 

Jackson's brow furrowed, perplexed by his wording. "A...'normal' person?" He repeated out loud. 

Johnny's eyes widened, catching his slightly-flawed wording. "Well, I meant a calmer person!" He corrected. "You don't really have to be high-strung and focused around me. We're friends, aren't we?"

Friends. Friends? He considered them friends? Jackson thought over it, hardly knowing the answer himself. He shrugged slightly, but nodded.

"Right, right..." He said. "I guess...I guess we are." Maybe this wasn't going as bad as he expected. 

Johnny looked at him happily. At least he thought of them as friends. It was suddenly quiet between them, the music filling their empty gaps of conversation. He thoughts about what to say next. Well, if Jackson was right there already, maybe he could ask him something. 

"...Jackson," he began. Jackson looked at him, awaiting whatever he had to say. "Do you...do you by chance have anxiety?"

At the mention of anxiety, Jackson froze in his place. He looked shocked, almost scared, that Johnny even mentioned the word. He clutched his jacket tightly in balled fists. 

"....In what way?" He asked, voice tight.

Noticing his behavior, Johnny tried to call off the question. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have asked you--"

"Yes," Jackson responded coldly. "Yes, I have anxiety. Yes, that's why I ran away yesterday in tears. You figured it out. You cracked the code," his tone increased in a mix of panic and anger. He threw his paws in the hair. "I have an anxiety disorder that fucks me up with everything! I don't talk to people in fear of looking like an annoying doofus in front of them! I've been taking meds since I was 14--!" 

His rant was interrupted when Johnny placed a hand on his shoulder. Johnny was looking concerned again, and a few people in the crowd had stirred their attention. Jackson stopped, wiping away the few tears in his eyes, and sighed.

"I...I shouldn't have asked you that," Johnny apologized again.

"I'm sorry," Jackson said. "I shouldn't have overreacted like that." 

Johnny blinked, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have asked that in the first place, that's probably really personal..."

Jackson looked down, nodding softly. Taking Johnny's hand off his shoulder, he began walking away from the crowd to a more silent area. He leaned up against a tree, thinking about just going home.

He was done with talking to people for today. He hated being social, he just wanted a snack and some nice music. Sadly, he looked back over at the crowd at the stage. He sighed. 

"Why do I even try anymore?" He asked himself. 

"You know," Johnny's voice rang again, right behind him. "You aren't a doofus. You're actually kind of interesting."

Jackson let the words settle in, wondering why Johnny still wanted to talk to him even after what just happened. Snickering softly, he turned around to face him. "Interesting? In what way?" He asked.

"Well, you're really into musicals, from what I can see."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Yeah? That's all I know about, what else?"

"Let me ask you something," Johnny said. Jackson crossed his arms, eyebrows creasing in contempt, ready for whatever question he had. With a breath, Johnny spat the question out. "Why do you like acting so much?" 

The raccoon opened his mouth for an immediate answer, before his eyes widened upon realizing he had nothing. Surprisingly, the question somehow got to Jackson. He was...speechless. He didn't know what to say. 

"Huh," he said, visually stumped. He tapped his chin, waiting for something to come to him. It was Johnny's turn to cross his arms as he waited patiently for Jackson's answer. "W-Well... I guess it's because...I like being a different person," he began. "I...don't really like who I am in real life, so I like being someone who's actually cool and strong..." Letting his answer rest, he thought up a question for Johnny. "What about you? Why...Why do you like music so much?"

The gorilla set his hands into his pockets, looking up at the sky for a response. He just shrugged. 

"Why do I like music?" Johnny repeated, receiving a nod from Jackson. "I...I don't know, actually. I've loved music ever since I was a kid. I guess...I guess I like it so much because it helped me at home..." He drifted off.

Hearing the last part, Jackson became intrigued. 

"At-At home?" Jackson inquired, curious.

Johnny looked up at him, fumbling with his jacket sleeves. There was an odd fabricating look in his eyes, trying to find a response. Jackson immediately thought about taking back the sentence.

"I..." Johnny began, suddenly. "My family grew up poor, so we didn't have the best essentials in life. My father gave me a few old records, though. And that's how I got into music." 

He smiled softly as he finished his explanation. He stared at Jackson, who was looking up at him at this point quietly. There was an odd sense of...wonder in his eyes. Sympathy. Jackson almost smiled, and Johnny could've sworn he was about to hug him. 

"I can relate," Jackson mumbled. Johnny titled his head upon hearing this, and the raccoon continued. "My...my family's financial life wasn't the greatest either. I guess the first time I got into theater was from my mom..." He reflected. Again, he almost went in for a hug, but stepped back. "Your...your dad sounds like a really cool guy," he said with a chuckle.

"Thanks." Johnny said. "Same for your mom."

There was a slight tinge of blush on Jackson fur as he leaned back on the tree some more. Johnny looked at him for invitation, before leaning back on the tree as well. The music from the band continued for a few minutes before slowly dying out. 

"Well," Johnny commented, catching Jackson's attention. "The band's over."

Jackson looked at the deteriorating crowd from across the park as the band began taking down their instruments. "Huh, I guess it is," he responded. He stood up straight, stepping away from the tree. "Well, I should get going."

"What?" Johnny asked, out of the blue. "The afternoon's still young, wanna talk some more?"

At the invitation, Jackson's eyebrows raised. He was quiet for a few seconds, before shaking his head quickly. 

"N-No...I should get going."

Seeing his persistence, Johnny decided to let him go. He nodded at Jackson, who nodded back as he walked home. But not before Johnny yelled one more word. 

"Wait!" He said, prompting Jackson to turn around. "Do you have your phone? Can I see your phone?"

Feeling his phone in his paw, Jackson looked down at the item, wondering what Johnny would want to do with it. He looked at him, then at his phone, before shrugging and carefully giving Johnny his phone.

He watched in concentration as Johnny entered some numbers, each button ringing in a rhythmic "beep!" as he pressed them. He never kept his eyes off him, wondering what he was doing. 

"Here you go," Johnny said, handing Jackson back his phone. 

Jackson fumbled with it, trying to find what Johnny did with it. 

"What...what did you do?" Jackson asked, fearing the worst. Well, whatever the worst could be, 

His response both shocked him and amazed him.

"Oh, just added my number. That way we can talk of you need to," Johnny responded casually. 

Jackson looked down at his phone, peering at the sudden new number added to his contacts. His mouth drew agape. He...put his number in. He actually put his number in his phone. What the hell? He...actually did that! 

"We're partners, right?" Johnny asked, noticing his shock. Jackson nodded slowly. "So, we should keep in touch."

Jackson stared at him some more. "Just...just don't text me anything stupid!" He joked. Johnny laughed, shaking his head in response.

Smiling, Jackson waved goodbye to Johnny was he began to walk away. He saw Johnny's hand waving goodbye in the distance, before going back to look his phone. He actually had a guy's number in his phone. He actually had a guy's number in his phone! 

His paw wrapped around his phone as he thought about what to say to Johnny. He couldn't text him anything stupid, he needed to be friendly. 

Because apparently, they were friends now.


	9. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an update on my schedule and stuff

So, yeah....this fic has been on hiatus for a pretty long time....

Don't worry, I'm not dead (yet), and I still have plans for Jackson Riley. But...don't expect any new chapters anytime soon. I'm not saying Imm canceling this fic, but I'm also not saying I'm gonna continue it either.

Surprisingly, I have a life outside of this fandom. I'm a part-time actor and I usually have shows back-to-back. I also want to focus on my own personal stories, such as a story I've been working on for a long time called "Angel Dust". I'll still be (somewhat) active on other websites, but I'm not gonna share my identities online, so try and find me lol. 

I've also been depressed lately, and being on the Internet for a long time really doesn't help anything. I kind of just want to throw all my current accounts away and start them anew. But that'd just be erasing the mistakes of the pass, wouldn't it? 

But don't think this is gonna be the end of everything. I'm still planning new stories, working on new OCs, and creating new content. Here's what you can expect in the future:

\---

Let Me Touch The Sky: A High-School AU centering on characters, canon and OC. It focuses on innocent love and the confusion of relationships. Currently my biggest fandom project (it also includes Jackson again).

I'll Give You A World: A Dating Sim that goes through the events after the movie.

Singanronpa: A Danganronpa AU with TwilightPrince101 (who can be found on Tumblr)

\---

As for the future of Lovestruck Idiot, I think you all know what direction it was gonna turn to sooner or later. Jackson realizes he's in love with Johnny, Johnny ends up reciprocating his feelings, and the two start dating. I had everything planned for them, from the first time they met, to the day they died. But now I don't even know if that'll ever become a reality.

I'm sorry if you were a fan on the fic, but I gotta take a break for now.

And one more thing....Elcee, if you're reading this, I'm sorry about what I've done. I'm sorry for lying to you and making you worry about me. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I'm safe. I didn't know how to tell you to this directly, but I just want you to know that I'm still standing. 

And who knows, I may be closer than you think. 

Sincerely,

Will "Jazz" Cruz.


	10. update (sorta)

i lived bitch


End file.
